I know I left y'all too long but I'm back and I got one for y'all..
Sincerely,
Nate
I’m writing to you…
To finish the letter that my mother wrote,
Or at least to give it closure.
I was never sure what to say to you,
Hardly knew what you looked like
Mommy never let you around much after I came around.
But I feel compelled to write this letter to you,
Because I’m the man of the house,
Because of you.
So now that my momma has recovered from your lies
After they made us lie, so low, I felt like I should show you how I felt
In hopes that you would care…or at least apologize halfheartedly
You were always the one I’d hide pictures of as a little boy when friends came to play
Not because I hated you…or even knew you who you were
But because I didn’t want them to ask questions,
Because then I would have to.
I had to convince myself that everybody was like us
That we weren’t the genetic misfits
And fittingly…hip-hop became my haven
As street stories blasted through speakers.
I nodded my head in recognition, that we weren’t the worst ones!
Bankhead bounced to affirmations of my own self worth
Simply because other’s selves were worthless
And I witnessed graffitied downbringings of you
And I had to skate around them with humor or hatred
In hopes that no one would ever think to ask…
“What do you think about the matter?”
And when they asked me what’s the matter
I said nothing, when in truth I just didn’t know
But a child’s world sees no shades of gray and leaves no room between no and yes.
So I confess…that there was something wrong
And it was partially your fault,
But I don’t hate you…I’ve accepted you as lesson in life
And I love you because you did have a profound effect on who I am
And I felt the need to say…
As the world D.A.R.E.’s to throw stones at you
As you once did to them.
I will not cast one,
Because it is after all, at the end of the day.
Our choice.
And I just wanted you to know that you can never count me among your allies
But also never among those who place blame squarely on your rock steady shoulders
And my mother doesn’t miss you…but I felt like she needed this closure.
And maybe I did too.
Dear Crack Cocaine,
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